Thoughts
I’ve had
some good nights at JMU, but looking back on them I realized all the
best ones have revolved around George Lucas or Steven Spielberg. And
all those nights have been spent with the half dozen or so individuals
that I consider to be my few good friends.
Mornings in my life have changed from High School to College,
and I feel better about waking up now than I ever did before. I don’t
sleep in because I’m afraid to start the day, and I don’t wake up
early because I have to be somewhere. I don’t feel like I have to do
anything the same way as I used to. I go about my activities when they
seem convenient to me, and for no other reason.
In a way, I’m living
the way I always wanted to….but not all the way. I don’t like having
my life so static -and we all do, don’t think you’re special-
and I sometimes have the urge to just dropout of school, to get a part
time job doing something on my own terms. I’m certain its some
kind of primal “man-urge” to stay liquid or to be unsettled, but its
so hard to explain in the context of contemporary society. We all live
in houses, work at full-time jobs, go to school, keep in touch with
our parents, and do what the TV’s tell us to. It’s just so hard to
drop it all and to give up any of that stuff.
——————————–
In the interest of making this
update slightly enjoyable, I have written down some notes to myself
and I will regurgitate those here:
– I am having dreams about
ancient books, leather-bound and peeling, and I have no idea why
–
Have you ever received mail from Malaysia? I have. It’s got around 14
stamps on it. I’m going to frame it.
– I purchased Clash
memorabilia.
– I own a Star Wars Shirt. Now and Forever, Baby.
Mental Note:
I’ve been having a series of strange “ways of thinking lately.” I
really don’t know how to explain this, but my brain is working
differently than it used to. I have flashes or random mental images
that I relate to printed text, pictures, movements (like waving
circles, or people turning their heads) that pop into my head at
seemingly random intervals when I talk to myself or others. It’s
really confusing to people because I’ll be discussing one thing then
immediately switch to something else with no transitional statement.
Me: “Yeah, so level 4 just ends with that stage of latent
development.”
Person: “What comes after that?”
Me: “4000 pounds of
dynamite was used in the demolitions seguence for John Frankenheimer’s
The Train.”
Person: “Pardon?”
Me: “Stage 5 is Principled
Care.”
Person: “Right…”
I think so fast that I can’t go back to
explain what I just said, and by the time that’s clear to me I already
have another fragment of Information bothering me. Hey, I can write
like a crazy person.
She says the jungle… it just came alive and
took him.