Mr Mell

Posted in Random on April 9th, 2003 by admin

What the Hell am I thinking? Did I just spend an hour in a suite full
of girls? I must be losing my edge.

What the hell am I thinking? Marc Sommers? Double Dare? Anyone?

Am I trying to pull off the Dress Shirt and Jeans? It’s impossible
unless you host a show involving mass quantities of slime.

That bottle in the front is some of that god damned vampire juice.
It’s Everywhere!

————————————-

Christina: “So back to the TPS report….”

Paul: (Sarcastically) “I’m listening to what you’re saying.”

Jon: “I think the cover is too bland.”

Paul: “This meeting has been productive.”

I definetely need a hard copy of that one.

Sometimes I enjoy presentations, especially when I’m done with mine.
Good Job Christina, Jon, and Matt.

In Other News:

– Uh oh, fish water

– Rocking the blue dress shirt

– Titanium, Gold Plated, and Capable of Killing someone? Who needs one
of those?

– Did you know chicken soup is available here?

– Holt SHIT! SOUP!

– What if he accidentally stepped on the babies head because he forgot
it was on the floor. Crunch.

I always believed this was what
Mr. Mell looked like. Weird Huh?

I remember how I seemed to float, then, down the melancholy glory
of that track upon the sea, away into the world of dreams.

Virgina (The Cashier)

Posted in Random on April 8th, 2003 by admin

The Gods of Class Registration Smile Softly, with the words, “Sleep,
young one. Sleep.”

I wish I could remember to carry my tape recorder to certain events.
Ah, the quotes I could retain. Honestly, the things people say that
mean so little to themselves can mean so much to someone
else.

Less than a day till the first of my major projects come due, and then
its all downhill until it starts uphill again. Eh, no one likes a
smooth ride.

—————————————

Today I was amazed at how Interesting Queuing seemed. Then 
realized it was because my teacher is insane, and I was just
interested in listening to his idle chatter about “Water Burger.”
Whatever the hell that is.

I’ve decided it’s almost worth transferring out of JMU because of
Virginia, the dukes cashier, who charges me $8.67 for a bagel and two
boxes of cereal. Perhaps I can do away with her while she is taking a
break? Nah, I’d have to touch her and stuff.

In Other News:

– The Colossus has been Assigned to the Capella System. Booyah!

– ‘Cuse Won

– PJ asked if he could read American Psycho. I had to deny him.
Logistics…….and Physics.

– Girls asking me to visit their suite? Jenny, Sara, you may not
realize what you’ve started.

– I think two of my suitemates are involved (wink).

– Does anyone remember the animated Ghostbusters Series?

Should I wait in Virginia’s Line? Man, she
looks bitter.

Back off man. I’m a scientist.

Saganism

Posted in Random on April 7th, 2003 by admin

Yeah, There’s videotape of me lunging at another man. That’s all I
have to say about that.

I didn’t update yesterday because I was busy, and then lazy, so there.
However, I did have some fun playing pool and listening to Bruce
Springsteen Songs.� By the way, Inspection Stations are open on
Weekdays only…At least, for all intents and purposes.

Did anyone else watch the ‘Cuse Game? That Stuff was Hardcore. It
reminded me of the “No Easy Buckets” Commercial.

———————————————-

Evan’s Mom brought Candy with her from Jersey. Mmmmmm….Candy. I wish
I had some candy right now. Hey, I do have candy. Mmmm….Scrumptious.

I also took the liberty of stealing crackers today from assorted
dining facilities. In my mind CRACKERS ARE -AND ALWAYS WILL BE- FREE!

I spent the morning researching Carl Sagan and am 2 Dutch Nickels away
from switching to astronomy. Wait, JMU doesn’t have an astronomy major
do they? Crappy JMU. Some astronomy Major is probably reading this, so
can you get back to me?

* – Doesn’t “Dutch Nickels” sound like a real colloquialism? You’re
damn right it does, and I just made it up.

�

“This is for all you new people, I only have one rule: everyone
fights, no one quits.

�If you don’t do your job I will shoot you. Do you get me?”

Way to jog my memory Mr. Ironside. That’s what it feels like to get
kicked in the ribs after you’ve just gotten dropped by a kid twice
your size. Don’t think that means I’m beat though, I always get back
up – It just took longer this time because of the injury.


�

In Other News:

– Everyone Should have a good solid beating once in their lives. You
feel alive. That is, if you live through it.

– I’m going to frame myself some Sagan

– I’m sharing a mental disorder with Guy Pearce from memento.
Kona told me I was acting like him, and then I looked down to realize
I had jibberish written on my forearm and was constantly carrying a
tape recorder so I could remember all the stuff I want/need to. Man,
sometimes I weird out myself.

Saganism –

“But for us, it’s different. Look again at that
dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love,
everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who
ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and
suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic
doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every
creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every
young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor
and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every
“superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the
history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a
sunbeam.

“The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic
arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and
emperors, so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the
momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless
cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on
the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how
frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one
another, how fervent their hatreds.

“Our posturings, our imagined self-importance,
the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe,
are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely
speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all
this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to
save us from ourselves.”

Music Today Sucks

Posted in Random on April 5th, 2003 by admin

This weekend at JMU brings us “Macrock 2003” or as I
like to call it: “I Shop at the Store in the Mall that sells that
Vampire Juice and shirts that have non-sensical phrases like “Roxy”
printed on the front Rock 2003.”

This all reminds me of how Bands Today suck. I have
put together a list of Bands I would, and would not see in
concert…and observed some startling trends.
 

Bands I Would See In Concert:

Queen

 

The Beatles

 

The Who

 

Bands I Would Not See:

The Donnas *

 

N’Sync

 

Atticus

 

 * – (OH, Sweet Jesus, Stab me in the
Ears Please!!!!)

Grievances:

Queen – Disbanded, Dead

Beatles – Disbanded, Dead

The Who – Disbanded, Dead

More Grievances:

The Donnas – All Alive

N’Sync – Justin Timberlake is Still “Not Dead” from a
Drug Overdose

Atticus – Those People Who Wear The Shirts that Say “Atticus.”

Oh Well, maybe I’ll go see……….. Q and U.
In the immortal words of Bruce Campbell, “Yeah, and Maybe I’m a
Chinese Jet Pilot.”

————————————————————-

In Other News:

– Weekend is Here, Tomorrow is a Laying in the Sun Day

– Purchase Glasses?

– Fix the Umbrella

Christine: “You will
end up childless and alone.”

Will: “Well, fingers
crossed, yeah.”


– About a Boy (2002)

TPS Report

Posted in Random on April 4th, 2003 by admin

I was just part of the single funniest video ever
recorded.

Me: “What the Hell is a TPS Report?”

Matt: “Does anyone want a stick of gum?”

Jon: “Mind if I smoke?”

Christina: “So, lets get back to the TPS Report.”

——————————————–

Random Bits:

One of the good things to come out of COB 202 –
Beach Boys Greatest Hits

Not having seen the Move before, Boys Don’t Cry
had a real impact. I know a lot of people who could watch this and
learn.

I have hallucinations when I’m in public where I
keep seeing people I think I know.  It always turns out they
look totally different when I get within 10 yards and after I say,
“Man, You Nut.” They look at me and just slowly back away.

Why would anyone fill a frisbee with snow, melt the
snow, and leave it in front of a doorway as a bowl of tepid
snowwater?

I’m as Giddy as a schoolgirl because I have
Purchased the following:

– Indiana Jones Trilogy on DVD

– Star Wars Trilogy on DVD

– Hans Gruber Comes in the Mail

 

” I wanted this to be professional.
Efficient, adroit, cooperative, not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr.
Takagi did not see it that way, so he won’t be joining us for
the rest of his life.”

 

————————————————————-

In Other News:

– Only God Knows – Beach Boys

– I look hardcore in a suit, with the baldness

– I have go to set aside some time to lay in the sun

– Busy, Busy, Day = No Update till 11:49 PM EST

Anytime I see something screech across a room and
latch onto someone’s neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it
off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!
– Jack Handey
 

Medallion

Posted in Random on April 3rd, 2003 by admin

John L. Esposito: “Some Professors brag about the
fact that they don’t have a TV. I say: That’s their problem, I have
to  be home at 9:00 PM – There’s a rerun of Hawaii 50.”

I’m so glad I get out of my daily rut and go to
Presentations about random things sometimes.

Today was one of those days where I felt like things
really lined up for me. I got accepted officially into my major, was
stimulated intellectually and emotionally, had TWO cups of coffee,
and got to be the PowerPoint Boy in one of my Interpersonal Classes.

——————————————————–

Funny Moment of Last Night (For Me)

Me: “What does the floating Alligator Represent?”

PJ: “…………………….”

Me: “……………………”

PJ: “Drugs.”

Bond, Only
Bond…………………………………

We spent the entire class today in accounting
arguing with the teacher about how he ambiguously worded some
questions. I honestly thought that the class was going to revolt
against the teacher. I guess that’s what happens when you take all
the “I’m an overachiever, Super Confident, Aggressive” Business
Majors and piss them off.  I reiterate the fact that I separate
myself from those people and hate business majors. It just happens
that Economics is in the College of Business.

In Other News:

– So Warm Here, I Hate the Sun. Man Has Yearned to
Destroy the Sun for Years, and I will make it happen

– Job Interviews Proceeding

– Song Du Jour: “Freakish” by Saves The Day

– Mastery of GPSYC

 

This is how my GPSYC 160 Professor Dresses.
Interestingly, I believe this is how he would react if he
suddenly grasped a Red Hot Holy Medallion.

Update 2

Posted in Random on April 3rd, 2003 by admin

Once Again I have Updated the Site,

I am King of the Internet. Let there be a grand Dorm-Room Feast.
Bring me the finest meats and cheeses in all the land!

I am attempting to mirror this page on a different site to avoid
any lengthy periods of downtime.

Good news, Its been nearly one week since my “Life Experience” and
the urge to kill is slowly disappearing, like so much baby meat into a
fat-mans massive maw.� Perhaps I am not devoid of human emotion
entirely! In any case, I have worked myself into a wonderful groove of
work and play which affords me many, many, hours of sleep each day as
well as many more hours of what I call “nothing time”- ironically
named because my “nothing time” is actually the time during which I am
most productive. My recent increase in free time (Read: NO MORE
GIRLFRIEND) has reminded me of what it truly is to be alone -I don’t
mean that in a bad way- and exactly what kind of person I was before I
had a relationship. Here are a few things I didn’t realize I missed
about the Life of the Loner:

– Can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner anytime I want – no
preplanned meals�������������������������

– Bed feels much, much larger – more room to kick and “freak out”
when I dream about my days in the Vietnam POW camp

– Total lack of phone calls, conversation, e-mail, and Instant
Messaging allow me to continue my pursuit of absorbing all the sights
of my own room (My chair swivels 360 Degrees) including but not
limited to: White Concrete Walls, 8*10 Photo of Bruce Campbell in
Army of Darkness,
Box of Frosted Cheerios on empty shelf,�
and the scary African-American man that takes the Cigarettes from my
roommates drawer when he comes in through the window at night

– More time to enjoy Daytime Television – Wait, that’s not a good
thing

– Can once again watch DVD’S where the main character is some kind
of explosion, or possibly a man who can shoot explosions from the huge
flamethrower rifle he carries throughout

– Don’t have to watch the language and can freely tell jokes that
would be considered “In bad taste” by the ladies. Q: What is worse
than a garbage bag full of dead babies? A: 10 Garbage Bags full of one
dead baby.

– No more “Clean Underwear.” I prefer them fully saturated thank
you!

Truly, I live a life that even Jesus himself would be envious of.�
Come back in a few days to see what else I have come up with….

A
Reward For Those Who Have Read This Far

Line Up

Posted in Random on April 3rd, 2003 by admin

“It’s the best feeling in the world when you meet new friends that
you can’t stand to be without. That you constantly want to impress to
make them like you even more. They make you hope everyday that they
won’t leave you. Until that day when they actually do, and you’re lost
without them. You can’t think about anything else but when you’re
going to see them again.” -Anonymous

“Trust no one. Not your closest advisors, your spouse, your
brother, your God. Trust only yourself, or you will face pain everyday
of your life.”� – Yul Brynner, The Ten Commandments

These two quotes are representative of two periods in my life. The
Yul Brynner quote especially has a cynical tone to it but is, none the
less, true. Going through life without a friend, not� a single
friend, but dozens of acquaintances is the hardest thing in the world
for anyone who has had to endure it.�

Yes, he is prematurely bald. You know who you
are, and you know you love it.

On a lighter note, Yul Brynner is the master.

The Following Quotes are From 1960’s The
Magnifecent Seven
, where Yul Brynner (Chris) and 6 others are
hired as gunfighters to protect a small farming village from a group
of Desert Raiders.

[The village Calvera’s raiding has
changed.
]

Calvera: New wall.
Chris: Lots of new walls, all around.
Calvera: They won’t keep me out!
Chris: They were built to keep you in

Last Line:

Chris: The old man was right. Only the farmers won.�We
lost. We always lose.

Russia

Posted in Random on April 3rd, 2003 by admin

****IMPORTANT UPDATE, 11:30 pm****

Moscow, Capital of Russia, has
fallen to Axis forces after a twelve day siege in which Germany lost
10 Tank Divisions, 6 Infantry Divisions, 4 Fighter Wings and 2 Bomber
Squadrons. Russian losses Consisted of over 14 Fighter Wings, 2
Armored Regiments and 3 Infantry Divisions.

After Tremendous losses on both sides Axis Forces led by Paul
Church and Christopher Riechers swept into the ruins of the once proud
Kremlin, now a burnt out shell, and raised the German and Japanese
Flags over the new Axis Territory.

Axis success is now complete on the Asian Continent as Paul Church
and Chris Riechers turn their attention to the stalwart forces of
Great Britain-the last remnant of Democracy in Europe- and the United
States.

Just completed over 5 hours of Axis and Allies

hALDIR

Posted in Random on April 3rd, 2003 by admin

Time spent talking a German Man into giving you a copy of Lord
of the Rings: The Two Towers
that was stolen from a DVD meant for
the academy of Arts and Sciences Academy Award consideration:  5
Hours.

Time Spent finding the XVID Codec necessary to view the movie
in Windows Media Player without causing horrendous system instability: 
1 Hour.

Watching Ten-Thousand Orcs Lay Siege to the Strong hold of
Helms Deep in glorious 800*600 Resolution:  Timeless.

Haldir is Cool.