Bay Doors

Posted in Random on June 18th, 2003 by admin

Short Update: Random Good Quotes  (Credit to Brother)

I’m not a robot like you. I don’t like having disks crammed into
me… unless they’re Oreos, and then only in the mouth.

You’re out drinking for the first time with your best friend. You
get back into the car, and realize that you’re a little tipsy but you
don’t think you’re too drunk to drive. On the way home, you swerve a
little bit, but since the roads are empty you don’t pay any heed. As
you turn onto your street, a woman and a dog dart into the road. You
try to avoid them but end up hitting them both and crashing your car,
sending your best friend flying through the windshield. You are
unharmed, but as you crawl out of the wreckage you see that the woman
and the dog are both dead… and that the woman was your girlfriend
and the dog was your dog. There’s nothing more you can do for them, so
you rush to your best friend’s side. He’s mortally injured and he asks
you to come closer. You take him in your arms and his blood flows all
over you. In his final breath he tells you that he has AIDS and now
you do too. Boondock Saints is worse.

PERSON: “It is my opinion that NAFTA is helping revitalize Mexico
and Mexico City, and has no negative aspects.”

CORRECT RESPONSE: “You are a Mexican puppet, dancing under command
from the Mexican government, in a disco hall full of your own rancid

EVEN BETTER RESPONSE: “There is no Mexico, only Allah.”

My Status:

Tired. Working. No Sunlight. Only Fluorescent.  Water In a
Can. Rain. The only joy in my life right now is poking fun at
Coworkers. And Sitting Quietly staring out the Bay Doors into the
Rain. I feel like I’m on the border between ‘Nam and Cambodia.


Posted in Random on June 7th, 2003 by admin

What I had Written on my Arm Today:

Sparta – Ribbon

When I Touch a Slug It Dies – Brad, In regard to how Salty his
hands are.


I’ve become a master of pseudo-rush hour traffic (3:30 in Fairfax

Annandale, VA or “Koreatown” as my parents so kindly put it
(because of the large Korean Population) is a teaming wasteland of
people colliding from Springfield (Backlick Road), the Beltway, and
Fairfax (Little River Turnpike) like so many retarded, blind elves
bent upon getting home by Dinner. Although many have fallen in this
battle, I have come out unscathed time after time. The “White Dragon”
(98 Grand Caravan) has taken me through some rough times, and I
appreciate it greatly. None of this would be possible without you, my
dear Steel Chassied Friend.

The only reason that I report any of this is to gloat over all you
sons of bitches who live in the woods. No wait, I don’t mean “gloat”,
I mean lament over how much time I waste in crappy, crappy traffic,
and exactly how much I resent the fact that Fairfax County refuses to
stop building new homes in an a County that should have been limited
to half its population.

By The Way, I’m bitter also because I still haven’t been paid for
my summer job. I’m in week 4 now and planning on a paycheck before
August. This god damn “Bi-Weekly Pay Period” and “2 Week Latency”
Payroll Terminology stuff should be called “Screw You” and “Were Never
Gonna Pay You Because Youre Just a Cheap Negro Slave To Us” instead.

Venting, Just Venting.


This Week has Been Good.

I drive around listening to pinging noises now and then sit in
parking lots for the hell of it. I used to think I was weird, but I
now Know I’m weird because the first thing I did yesterday after I got
home from work was switch cars, put a Rice Cake in my Pocket, and
Drive to A Turkish Grocery Store to buy Strange foreign candy bars
that I knew I wouldn’t be eating.

I felt a wave of Irony come over me today when I stepped through
the door, after a long day of warehouse work. Keep in mind my Dad
stayed home all this day.

Me: “I feel great.”

Dad: “My back hurts.”

Me: “You can’t say that, I’m the one who just got off from 8 hours
of box duty.”

Dad: “Go mow the lawn.”

Me: “How Ironic.”

– You All Probably Don’t Think That is Funny. Ah, but the Fun.


I swear to God, If I don’t get to see some Band of Brothers this
Weekend I’m going shoot myself from lack of entertainment. It’s been a
month since I was thoroughly entertained, except for last weekend,
which was mostly just filler. No offense, but I need structure for
entertainment. Oh, and Less Gay. Definetely less Gay. I’m not saying
there is anything wrong with Gay, it was just all over the place and
It was wearing on me like a sustained VC attack on a battalion of
Heavily Armed Marines.

Military Analogy – YOU SEE? YOU SEE?

I keep wanting to post pictures on this site to liven things up,
but I don’t have any acceptable for posting. I don’t take my camera
anywhere Good. Damn You Spider Sense.



Hurricane Screendoor

Posted in Random on June 1st, 2003 by admin

I can’t believe how lazy I am when it comes to updating this site.
Technically, I have a lot of free time every day, but since I’m hardly
ever around pc’s I just never think about it.

Tonight I’m suppose to
go out and “do things” with “people” so I’ll see how that pans out.
Apparently there are individuals out there who actually think I’m at
least partially competent to talk to and would for some reason enjoy
my company – however brief. Mostly, I just want to watch Band of

I should elaborate on my work routine:

7:30 AM – Arrive

7:30-8:30 – Await Daily Orders (Sit Around)

8:30-10:00 – Carry Out Orders (15 Minutes of work interspersed
between 1.5 hours of Talking about Music, Paintball, Brad’s Stories
and other Assorted Jibba Jabba)

10:00-11:30 – Prepare for Lunch

11:30-12:30 – Lunch

12:30-2:30 – Finish Work (More Talking, Argue with Adam about
alleged 1987 Springfield Hurricane*)

2:30-3:30 – Prepare for Departure

3:30 – Depart

As you can see, A day like this drains me of all the energy it
would require to write daily updates.

* Alright, I can’t think of anything but this dialogue which
occured between My coworkers, Adam (Strange Guy at Work), and Myself.
This all takes place during  a session of box making (Yes, I make
boxes at my job – Stapling, Folding, Palletizing, whatever.) I should
mention that 2 mean operate staplers, and 1 (Adam) sits in a chair and
“prefolds”* the cardboard we use.

*Prefold =  Waste of Time. Basically, Adam sits in a chair and
makes grunting noises while the other 2 guys do all the leg work.

Also Note: I in no way mean this dialogue to portray Adam in a
negative light. For all I know he could be retarded, and I would never
make fun of a retarded person. Ever.

(Brad and I assemble Boxes, Somewhat Physically Demanding Work)

Brad: “So Me and Betsy……..(Finishes a Story)”

Me: “Nice.”

Adam: (Mumbling) “My Hands Hurt.”

Brad: “What?”

Adam : “My hands hurt.”

Brad: “What do you mean your hands hurt? All you’re doing is
sitting in a chair and folding cardboard.”

Adam: “Man, you don’t think I’m doing any work, I’m a hardworker…(Mumbling).
Look, I even cut my hand (Points to small cut on right hand)”

Me: “You got City Hands, Boy”

Adam: “No way, look, I cut my hand!”

Me: “Dude, its a papercut….(under my breath) probably from
counting money.”

Adam: “What you talkin bout man? I’m hardcore. Look at this scar
(pulls up shirt sleeve to reveal a relatively large scar, then gets
unnecessarily close to me to display it)”

Brad: “What’s that from? Fall down?”

Adam: “A screen door.”

Brad: “A screen door? What were you trying to do?”

Adam: “The wind blew me through a screen door.”

Brad: “What wind?”

Adam: “A Hurricane.”

Brad: “When?”

Adam: “I’m not sure, It was when I was a little Kid. I don’t

Me: “How can you not remember? Where were you living?”

Adam: “Springfield.”

Brad: “Springfield……..Virginia?”

Adam: “Yeah.”

Me: “There was never a Hurricane in Springfield Virginia. At least,
not in the last 20 years. And the bigger question is: Why were you
outside during a hurricane?”


You have no idea how long that went on. I cannot describe the


Random Notes:

– All Time Quarterback – Plans Get Complex

– FCPS is the freakiest school system ever. I’m not working here
again unless they want to pay me like a god.

– I sleep on the floor in my room – Just for the hell of it.

– I found a good restaurant – Coyote Grille

– My brother bought a pc. Quake 3 on a LAN, Baby.

– On a sad note: I still haven’t gotten my paycheck. Crappy
bi-weekly pay plus 2 week latency = Poor.