Bay Doors

Short Update: Random Good Quotes  (Credit to Brother)

I’m not a robot like you. I don’t like having disks crammed into
me… unless they’re Oreos, and then only in the mouth.

You’re out drinking for the first time with your best friend. You
get back into the car, and realize that you’re a little tipsy but you
don’t think you’re too drunk to drive. On the way home, you swerve a
little bit, but since the roads are empty you don’t pay any heed. As
you turn onto your street, a woman and a dog dart into the road. You
try to avoid them but end up hitting them both and crashing your car,
sending your best friend flying through the windshield. You are
unharmed, but as you crawl out of the wreckage you see that the woman
and the dog are both dead… and that the woman was your girlfriend
and the dog was your dog. There’s nothing more you can do for them, so
you rush to your best friend’s side. He’s mortally injured and he asks
you to come closer. You take him in your arms and his blood flows all
over you. In his final breath he tells you that he has AIDS and now
you do too. Boondock Saints is worse.

PERSON: “It is my opinion that NAFTA is helping revitalize Mexico
and Mexico City, and has no negative aspects.”

CORRECT RESPONSE: “You are a Mexican puppet, dancing under command
from the Mexican government, in a disco hall full of your own rancid
vomit.”

EVEN BETTER RESPONSE: “There is no Mexico, only Allah.”

My Status:

Tired. Working. No Sunlight. Only Fluorescent.  Water In a
Can. Rain. The only joy in my life right now is poking fun at
Coworkers. And Sitting Quietly staring out the Bay Doors into the
Rain. I feel like I’m on the border between ‘Nam and Cambodia.

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