Ice Cubes

The Funniest Thing In My Day:


Scenario: I arrive home at approximately 5:00 pm, after serving as PJ’s
security blanket for technology.  Thirsty, I head to the fridge with the
objective of quenching my thirst.

Action Taken:

1) I remove a large plastic cup from the cabinet.

2) I attempt to remove ice from the freezer.

3) Ice sticks to fingers (due to moisture inherent in kitchen activities –
no, not related to any kind of lubricating product)

4) Not realizing Ice is stuck to fingers I attempt to drop the cubes
into the cup

5) Not realizing cubes are still stuck to fingers (I’m tired people) I swing
around wildy to open fridge for Diet Vanilla Coke

6) Ice cubes are propelled through mid air at about a 20mph velocity, with
enough force to hurl the aforementioned cup off the counter.

7) I realize I am retarded

8) I clean up the Mess

9) I go to bed

10) I buy 750 ml of Rumple Minze – Verdict: Alcoholism

Rumple Minze

I feel this particular alcohol (albeit extremely homosexual in Nature
(Peppermint Schnapps)) conveys a somewhat “Third Recih/German Gestapo” message
deep within. This goes well with my general interest in all things involving
really cool looking Germans. Yes, they were evil. But Goddamn, they had some
hansom uniforms.

Clint Eastwood was a spectacularly hansom American Spy posing as a Nazi.

Major John Smith: They say he
[Col. Wyatt Turner]
John Smith: knew Hitler quite well.
Lieutenant Morris Pimpennel Schaffer:
Yeah, I THOUGHT he looked a little nuts.

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