One might say that Once you’ve been offered cocaine and accepted it, that youre life is effectively over. Well, at least life as you once knew it.


Regardless, getting bonked off the stuff and murdering your Girlfriends best friend in the woods with a  big rock would also pretty much end your life.


For the love of God – Getting a good nights sleep is damn near impossible for me anymore. I slept in four different places lastnight in the apartment, and drank about a Gallon of Diet Dr. Pepper in a desperate attempt to satisfy some nighttime craving.

The Browns lost…..to the Bengals…..which would have made me almost sucidal had it not been for my innate sense of logic overriding the idea of suicide caused by football. Once again, I fell asleep in a coat, under three blankets, a backpack, and pants which caused to me to awake 5 minutes before a meeting sweating like a Fireworks Factory Worker with a Penchant for Tobacco. I must mention however, that daytime naps are a highlight of my life right now..I mean, who doesnt like waking up somewhat refreshed (confused) at 7 PM like youre in some kind of Vietnam POW camp in 1966 where you can’t tell the difference between night/day anymore?

Rule of Thumb for the Day )and I cant stress this enough)

— Under no circumstances should you kill a girl in the woods with a blunt object. If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a thousand times, and not one of those times has something good come out of it. So in General….NO. —


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