Bear Shark
First Things First
I urge anyone who reads this to participate in my Brothers Bear v. Shark Contest. I’m a shark man – how bout you?
I think you’ll also enjoy the accompanying flash game which involves killing divers as a ravenous Great White Shark.
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Secondly, Halloween Movies are Excellent. Also, I am a Tool for Watching them on AMC (American Movie Classics) but I’ll be damned If I can find something else to watch when I’m not watching specials about the German Military on the History Channel.
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Yes! Why Can’t We Have More Movies with Special Effects Presented in a Disgusting, but Surprisingly Comical, Fashion? |
Jack: Now, I’m really sorry to be upsetting you, but I have to warn you.
David: Warn me?
Jack: We were attacked by a werewolf.
David: I’m not listening to this!
Jack: On the moors, we were attacked by a lycanthrope, a werewolf. I was murdered, an unnatural death, and now I walk the earth in limbo until the werewolf’s curse is lifted.
David: Shut up!
Jack: The wolf’s bloodline must be severed; the last remaining werewolf must be destroyed. It’s you David.
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The Reason I Bring Up an American Werewolf in London is Two-Fold:
1) The Movie is good
2) It’s near Halloween
2) I realized many new and interesting things about this film upon watching it for the first time since my childhood
– Nurse “Whatever Her Name is” is not as hot as I remembered. Hell, she looks like an alien.
– There is Porn featured within the film
– The werewolf is just a fury cow with a Tail and Larger than Normal Teeth
– England is the worst country in Europe
– If I had to Die in England, I would want it to be death by Werewolf – or Better Yet, death by Silver Bullet as a Werewolf
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Moving On
– Does anyone want to Pose as a Child and Trick or Treat? Sadly, I’m addicted to Candy Corn.
– No one walks faster than me when they shop or sight see. I am the fastest walker in the world in those two scenarios. I inherited this from my father.
– Regardless of What Anyone Else May Believe – John Leguizamo is Not Funny.
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The Following is Taken From a SomethingAwful Reeview of Halo for XBOX:
Ooooooh, cars!
Halo is hands down the best console first person shooter. In a wholly unrelated story Pete Douglas is hands down the best pants shitting retard in Cornly County.
Everything about the game says “dumbed down for console”. As long as you are facing an enemy your gun hits them. You can only carry two weapons because finding a cycle button would be impossible on the monolithic Xbox controller. The joystick sensitivity is akin to the penis of a corpse that just had Novocain injected into it, possibly to prevent the slightest movement from flinging the view away from the enemies. Speaking of enemies there are about three different enemies in this game. The verisimilitude of miscreants you will face makes the anemic clutch of spacespawn in Unreal 2 look like the New Brooklyn Space Zoo.
Oh, but you can drive a futurejeep around! Whhheeeeee! All of the vehicles may handle like you’re a drunk driver, but fuck, cars in a shooty game I think I done found Nirvana!
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In Conclusion,
Does Anyone Have HBO?
If Yes, Did yous see the show where they interviewed the Children of Rich, Rich, Rich Families?
Man, I hate those kids. Not that they are snooty, arrogant, or spoiled, but WHERE DID THAT GERMAN KID LEARN TO HOLD HIS CIGARETTE WITH HIS WRIST AT A RIGHT ANGLE AND THE PALM FACING UP?
Mother of God.