Today’s Highlight:

Seth told me I looked like Bruce Willis (I was wearing my comical sunglasses,
a bum hat, and my new Hobo jacket), but he brought me back to reality by adding,
“You know, without all the muscles.”

Someday, Somewhere, I’ll find someone who really believes I’m Bruce Willis.
Probably a Blind Person.

Today’s Lowlight:

My Econ Teacher believes I’m brain-dead because my assclown homework
partner turned in his assigned portion of the homework with…..I don’t
know…maybe one correct problem out of 6. I’m pretty sure he did the graph in
crayon too, which wouldn’t be that bad, except it was supposed to illustrate an
Engel Curve for something. Engel curves never look good in crayon.

I swear to god, he used the word “fir” in place of “for” in the paper. I
mean, I understand if you have a southern accent – but why would you just decide
to have a southern accent when you actually write things down?


Normal Southerner: “I went to the store today.”

Retarded Southerner: “I wint down to dee Star tooday.”

Notice how you still maintain the grammatical and structural accuracy
of English when Sane, versus forgetting them entirely when Insane?


“I don’t want anything I don’t deserve, (but) if they offer me
more money, I’m not a-stupid.”

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