Alert Reader Jenny P. (The “P.” Stands for P) sent me this announcement that
the perfect cat for me was available:

His Name: Hitler

Preferred Means of Transportation: 1937 Mark III Rolls Royce
with Swastikas Painted on the Doors

I always wanted a cat, especially one so awesome as this. Cats
are awesome because you can just leave them be 90% of the time – I hate having
to deal with slobbering, barking animals (monkeys) 6 hours a day. Cats require
food, and shelter – that’s pretty much it. Love is optional.


I think I’ll ask my suitemates if they are allergic to cat
dander or anything.


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