Eternal Pumpkin

Legend has it that on the 6th Day of the Year 2006, at 6:00 AM (Zurich Time,
don’t ask why – Apparently Switzerland is a Nexus of Evil) that the Shroud of
Total and Infinite Darkness will encompass all of the known universe and Human
Life will be remanded to slavery under a dark lord known only as “Zorbitron” –
who is ironically NOT a robot, even thought the name implies that he is.

Of course, most legends are bullshit.

———-

I haven’t stolen a candle that smells this good since Autumn of Tet, and that
was from those greasy gook hands after I impaled him with that pair of
chopsticks. Yeah, chopsticks my rear-end. I’ll take a good old spoon any day.
Anyway, the candle is sold at that Conglomerate Superchain we all know and love
– it’s called “Pumpkin Spice” or some such nonsense designed to stir some
whimsical notion of Halloween Trickery we once had as children. Dammit, it
worked.

I’m personally guaranteeing that I will be carving the most masterful Darth
Vader pumpkin ever committed to something from the Gourde Classification on or
before October 25th. Come see it at my apartment.*

* If you don’t know where I live it’s because you’re a filthy internet
stalker, or possibly the even more filthy “inktomi slurp bot” or the Pedophilic
“Googlebot.” Get the hell out of my house.

….

—————-

Clementine : Let me show you something… come on…
Joel : I think I heard a crack.
Clementine : It’s not gonna crack, or break, or… it’s so thick!… Show me
which constellations you know.
Joel : Um… oh… I don’t… know any.
Clementine : Show me which ones you know!
Joel : Okay… okay… oh! There’s Osidius.
Clementine : Where?
Joel : Right there… see? Sort of a swoop and a cross, Osidius Emphatic.
Clementine : You’re full of shit, right?
Joel : Nope. Osidius, right there, swoop and cross.
Clementine : Shut the fuck up!

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