Hawkeye Seasoning

Posted in Random on October 23rd, 2005 by admin

For untold years – well that’s hyperbole really, its more like 8 – I’ve
contemplated a question that has confounded hundreds of my peers. The
question is not one of world peace, or the inner workings of Geo – Political
events, nor is it a strictly scientific pursuit . This question is much larger
and at least 13 times more important. Stephen Hawking was brought to
his knees (metaphorically), Kissinger formed beads of sweat upon his forehead
saltier than a thousand red seas. and L. Ron Hubbard was forced to drink 8
gallons of fermented prune juice merely to cleanse his mental palette of the
conundrum forever.

What IS in the Papa Johns special seasoning?

You know the stuff. It used to come in a a tiny plastic shaker, then
developed into a more convenient wet-nap type envelope enclosure.
Regardless of vessel, the taste was the same.

It is THE essential seasoning for:

– Pizza

– Lasagna

– Cauliflower, Potatoes, and Pasta

– Burgers and Fries

– Rice Dishes

– Tacos and Burritos

– Jello

– Ice Cream

– and Kelloggs Frosted Flakes, but not Fruit Loops.


Sure they list the ingredients, but its the proportions that make the
seasoning. Papa Johns could mix rat droppings, dead goldfish, and “Dem
Bones” of Halloween “throw this cod-tasting granny candy in the Kmart Dumpster”
trash candy fame and make them taste like Caviar Filled Butter Wafers from the
French Laundry. I just don’t understand how its possible. Its 7
ingredients, all of which I have in my kitchen cabinets. However, none of
them seem to taste at all similar to the PJ recipe upon mixture with the others.

I don’t even especially enjoy their pizza – but God be jesused if the
seasoning isn’t the best powder ever invented with the intent of human
consumption. I think the answer is obvious.

Seasoning. It’s what’s for dinner.


Chingachgook: The frontier moves with the sun and pushes the
Red Man of these wilderness forests in front of it until one day there will be
nowhere left. Then our race will be no more, or be not us.
Hawkeye: That is my father’s sadness talking.
Chingachgook: No, it is true. The frontier place is for people like my white son
and his woman and their children. And one day there will be no more frontier.
And men like you will go too, like the Mohicans. And new people will come, work,
struggle. Some will make their life. But once, we were here.

Madeline Stowe is very attractive.


Posted in Random on October 9th, 2005 by admin

I ‘m sorry, so very sorry. All I could Muster after the work week and a Beer was happycat.

I’ll make it up to you, honey. I swear! I love you, baby…please don’t leave me. You know that IKE loves you! I LOVES you.

MTV Crap

Posted in Random on October 4th, 2005 by admin

Alright, I’m sick of this MTV Crap. I’ll host the GOOD Killers video for the “All These Things.” Its not the shitty Cowboy one.

Check the downloads section


Posted in Random on October 2nd, 2005 by admin


That’s a Rasterbation. Thanks, PBF.


In other news:

JMU for Homecoming?


And what of the Plastic Surgery Industry?


And from a strictly Economic perspective, welcome to High
Taxes (anyone aged 0 – 29) for the next 35 years! How does 42% of your
paycheck sound? Viva la France!


Colonel von Waldheim: Labiche! Here’s your prize,
Labiche. Some of the greatest paintings in the world. Does it please you,
Labiche? Give you a sense of excitement in just being near them? A painting
means as much to you as a string of pearls to an ape. You won by sheer luck: you
stopped me without knowing what you were doing, or why. You are nothing, Labiche
— a lump of flesh. The paintings are mine; they always will be; beauty belongs
to the man who can appreciate it! They will always belong to me or to a man like
me. Now, this minute, you couldn’t tell me why you did what you did

The Train. Overlooked by many.