G) Hello, Welcome to (Generic Supermarket). If you have a
(coupon card specific to this Corporation) please scan it now.

G) Congratulations, Your personal identification has been accepted.
You are now eligible to make purchases and file tax returns in (applicable

M) (Scan Bologna).

G) Bologna accepted.

M) (Scan Crispix Brand Breakfast Cereal)

G) Unrecognized breakfast configuration – sales manager will confirm you are
of legal age to purchase breakfast item.

M) Breakfast Cereal is confirmed.

M) (Scan Carton of eggs)

G) Rescan item, please.

M) Rescan.

G) Item unrecognized. Report to Egg/Dairy Clerk to verify item is “egg/s?”

M) Dairy clerk informs you item is “unknown pathogen/nerve agent”

G) Item is confiscated because it represents a threat to a grocery customer.


M) Scan “Frozen Hash browns a la McCain’s.”

G) Item is age-restricted. Produce ID and Work VISA to status-active Food
Control Agent.

M) Produce documents.

G) Customer has not been recognized as US-13 class agent. Sales to
non-military personnel are restricted. Your name has been sent to the Department
of Defense’s terrorists watch list list.

M) Scan Boboli PIZZA CRUST.

G) You are now #1 on the CIA most wanted list.

M) Scan Hummus

G) DR) Hello, this is Donald Rumsfeld. Why are you purchasing this

M) Nourishment.

G) Navy ISOPS will be at your home in less than 23 minutes, regards.


G) Interrogation Personnel.

M) I still have gumballs and beef left to buy,



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