Special Easter Wish

I got a card in the mail today (US Postal Service, not E) and the only writing inside was the following:

“I hope you will someday notice me.

– K.”

Whomever wrote the brief message knew my name and complete address, and appears to have girl-handwriting.

If you are an attractive/intelligent female, please include your first name on any further correspondence. My social life isn’t exactly rife with female admirers, so I have devoted the last 4 hours of my life to piecing together all my human to human contacts over the last 8-12 weeks and racking my brain over why I am so horribly inattentive.


If this is a horrible misunderstanding or practical joke and you are responsible, I will stab you in the parking lot.

That is all.


Yep, thats a punch to the liver.

Nursing Home Orderly: Good news, everybody, we’re extending arts and crafts time by four hours today.
Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
Nursing Home Orderly: What’s that?
Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
Nursing Home Orderly: Oh, well, now your back’s gonna hurt, ’cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else’s fingers hurt?… I didn’t think so.

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