corkonthefork.com was created in order to provide a forum for malformed charm flavored quarks to form Sigma bonds with beauty flavored quarks. Any other use of corkonthefork.com is not covered by any warranty or child proof protective seal and cotton swab expressed or implied. If you are a pregnant man, or a midget with a liver condition you should contact your doctor to find out possible side effects before viewing this site. This does not mean you can not view the site but rather that special accommodations such as but not limited to: Jell-O wrestling with hot naked chicks freshly hatched from their eggs, confinement to a protective sterile bubble environment, and in some very rare extreme cases rubbing your stomach and patting your head. Lab studies found that corkonthefork.com causes ear cancer, gum disease, and sudden bloody vomiting and death in a small percentage(1) of lab rats, all were similar to placebo. corkonthefork.com should only be used optically, due to insurance reasons we can not be held responsible for injuries or death resulting from using corkonthefork.com in any other manner. A statistical analysis of prolonged viewing of corkonthefork.com on a machine with a Windows based operating system has shown a mean time of twelve hours before crashing. The staff of corkonthefork.com cannot be held responsible for any lost files, hard drive corruption, explosions or any other results from a crash. We here at corkonthefork.com strive to make safety a number one concern and remind you to watch your step when running with scissors to ensure that you do not trip over any dropped packets which might be lying about from server malfunctions, congested ISP servers, or mailmen shortly before they pull out their pump action shotgun loaded with hollow point slugs and pump round after round after round into coworkers and clients. No animals or plants were harmed(5) in the making of corkonthefork.com. Please do not feed any trolls living on the message board any spam and pickup after your dogs poops as the trolls are wild and any human food or canine feces could greatly damage their survival skills by allowing them to become dependent on humans rather than relying on their own highly vaunted hunting skills to hunt and kill wild spam. The staff at corkonthefork.com does its part to save the earth by recycling old jokes and material and using them over and over again and encourages you to do so as well. The staff at corkonthefork.com does its part to save the earth by recycling old jokes and material and using them over and over again and encourages you to do so as well. The staff at corkonthefork.com does its part to save the earth by recycling old jokes and material and using them over and over again and encourages you to do so as well. If you come into contact with a BeaveR while visiting corkonthefork.com please do not pet it but rather notify the authorities so they can tag it.

Any opinions, thoughts, ideas, or cleavage expressed or implied in any manner are not necessarily the opinion of any one at all in fact they might just be the product of a bunch of random 1s and 0s. All opinions, thoughts, ideas, and cleavage conceived while viewing this site are the intellectual, and where applicable physical property of Paul and his “crew”(3). A standard non competition period of two years exists from the time of viewing this site in which you, the user may not look at, listen to, touch, smell, taste or work on any other web site or visit any other domain name on the internet or use hyper text transfer protocol to interact with any material other than that on corkonthefork.com. Upon viewing this site any patents, copyrights, and licenses(7) are to be immediately transferred within three or four years to the Loch Ness Monster or if the Loch Ness Monster can not be reached in a timely manner, his lawyer, Steve the Sasquash. If neither of the above parties can be contacted contact CrocKilla cause he knows some great frat parties to contact, otherwise try contact lenses. Any site linked on corkonthefork.com does not necessarily support corkonthefork.com, or even know that corkonthefork.com exists. Any band, person, group, animal, object, or company mentioned on does not necessarily endorse or support corkonthefork.com. For a small fee anything which is offended by mention on corkonthefork.com will be removed.(8)

By viewing this site you agree to the above terms and conditions, to sacrifice you firstborn child to a 3 foot cheese sculpture of a rat which is referred to as Thandance Kiot Nichtu the third (2), and you absolve Paul and his “crew”(3) from any adverse consequences associated or unassociated with viewing or not viewing this site. This site best viewed on two rusty tin cans (4) and a 5.7 foot length of cotton string using Ghetto Viewer 2000 tm at a resolution of Pi by the e root of 43 with gamma set at maximum.

Special thanks and a hand of gratitude(6) to Al Gore and Tupac for all their hard work inventing the internet.

The above disclaimer null and void if site is viewed on the small Pacific island of Maloi while being bitten by rabid tsetse flies in accordance with Article II Section 53a of the Maloi Freedom of Information act of 1872.

(1) 99.9873% of rats developed these symptoms less than three months after being injected with paper pulp containing written html code for corkonthefork.com
(2) pronounced Bob, with emphasis on the first syllable
(3) Paul’s “crew” consists of Yeger, Crockilla, Gus, two baked potatoes (spelled with an e) with no chives but lots of sour cream and bacon bits responsible for the site’s html, and four mystical fire beings from the third astral plain on the left when approaching the llama school from Manshank Virginia and are responsible for bringing the html from the server directly to you.
(4) The Heisenberg uncertainty principle states that the more certainty with which we know an electron’s speed the less certainly we know the position of said electron. Since we don’t know the speed of an electron through a rusty can and cotton string apparatus we know every position of every electron ensuring that the site is viewed as it is intended since every electron is in its proper place.
(5) harming an animal means damaging or hurting psychologically, emotionally, socially, or physically in any way other than skinning and crucifying 5 frogs, a bear and a horse in an ancient Voodoo ritual to install Windows on Yeger’s machine.
(6) a hand of gratitude consists of a severed Iranian hand with the middle finger extended.
(7) licenses include but is not limited to fishing, hunting, business and driver’s licensees.
(8) The second amendment gives us the right to say whatever we want so before we waive this right we want and are entitled to just compensation.