Cork on the Fork

I don’t get angry at all anymore.  I can’t
remember the last time I was honestly pissed at something or someone.

Maybe I seem stoic to people, maybe I seem like a coward. Mostly it’s
just indifference. 

When I was a kid my Dad got angry a lot, and I
remember hating it, so I made a conscious decision that I wouldn’t do
that when I was an adult.  It seems like I always stay calm no
matter what I do anymore, and it’s intensely irritating to me
sometimes.

I’m almost afraid of showing strong emotion like that.
I mean, I’m out of practice and it takes real effort. So in any case,
that’s why I never seem pissed.

—————————————————————

Once again, I’ve discovered that instead of wearing pants I can just
substitute a ski mask and goggles. Sure, my legs are frozen right now,
but the facial warmth just feels good.

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In Other News:

– Must Buy “Hot” Watch From Street
Vendor

– Hmm, Definitely Possible at 30 mph – Injuries?

– Must Haggle Riechy for Ride

– Weight is Steady at
130, 1100 Calories a Day

– Racquetball skills improve,
slightly

– Where are you Star Wars Girl?

Then the man drowsed off into what seemed to him the most
comfortable and satisfying sleep he had ever known. The dog sat facing
him and waiting. The brief day drew to a close in a long, slow
twilight. There were no signs of a fire to be made, and, besides,
never in the dog’s experience had it known a man to sit like that in
the snow and make no fire. As the twilight drew on, its eager yearning
for the fire mastered it, and with a great lifting and shifting of
forefeet, it whined softly, then flattened its ears down in
anticipation of being chidden by the man. But the man remained silent.
Later, the dog whined loudly. And still later it crept close to the
man and caught the scent of death. This made the animal bristle and
back away. A little longer it delayed, howling under the stars that
leaped and danced and shone brightly in the cold sky. Then it turned
and trotted up the trail in the direction of the camp it knew, where
were the other food-providers and fire-providers.

As I Write This Raiders of the Lost Ark is on
TV….Inspiration?

Ok, the Daily Update is a little
late, but hey, I was a little busy.� Rarely does my Computer Away
Time amount to more than 8 Hours, let alone 2 Days. The Best God Damn
Two Days since…..um……Three Months Ago I would say.

Time Spent Lonely����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
Becomes Time Spent Alone

I’ve never felt so good
about coughing up a lung before. Too bad I can never go lower than a
Black and Gold, nothing else will cut it. I’M ADDICTED! I really do
need that Cigarette Case.

�

Too bad I wasted the Dollar Binging on Easter Candy
that I will end up giving away.

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A
Night at Calhoun’s was used to Discuss “The Ladies” and other sordid
topics. Apparently I’m not to know some special secret between my
suitemates though. Hey, It’s probably something I don’t want to know,
i.e. C.H.U.D. Sexual Behavior or Crohn’s Disease amongst the people
that live here.

I’m thinking of uploading one of the
Tapes I use to record my daily thoughts since I enjoy listening to
them myself. I bet I’m one of a select few people that can listen to
themselves on tape and and have no idea what the Hell I’m talking
about. If I cant understand me, how can I expect others to?

Today’s Tape Recorded Thoughts:

– ISAT Major = Pendulum
Science.

– Shadow Prices on a Curve! A Curve! Oh, the
Humanity. You know you’re insane when you actually want to learn more
math than your professor. He didn’t take kindly to my question about
Relevant Feasibility either.

– Spilled Easter Eggs
looking for a Lighter

——————————————————-

Dunhill’s v. Nat Sherman’s

Diagnosis: Nat Sherman’s by
3 Horse Lengths

Prognosis: Severe Coughing, followed by
pleasant sense of fatigue

——————————————————-

In Other News:

– Mix CD for a Medium Length Car Trip

– I Should Tell My Parents I’m Going To Jersey, I feel I owe it to
them

– Miles Goodman – Best. Composer. Ever. (For the
Next 2 Hours)

– Master of Managerial Accounting. Master
of No Studying?

– Saturday Class = Better than Normal

The Quote of the Update (From my Tape Recorder)

“Note to Self – New Halloween Costume: Youngest Holocaust Survivor
Ever. “

Come on, All I need is some filthy rags
and to lose 5 More Pounds.

I was obsessively cleaning today and I found two
things:

– Handspring Visor (Glorified Gameboy) which I
Managed to Bring Back to working Order

– Old Movie
Ticket

The Ticket had Sentimental Value, So I was glad
I still had it.

I need clear packing tape to laminate
it, though.

—————————————————————–

I found myself in the basement of my Dorm taking pictures of our
“Swastika” Study Lounge Tables because I find them hilarious. The
students studying down there must have thought I was a little crazy
though.

Oh, I’m sure there are forces at work here. Who lets a swastika table
slide through production?

Artist Du Jour: Dun Tan, and
his Chinese Classical.

——————————————————————-

In Other News:

– Downloads Section is Open

– St. Johns, Piow

– Steve referred to me as “Gaunt”,
booyah

– Mmm, Swiss Almond Chocolate

Li Mu Bai:
I’ve already wasted my whole life. I want to tell you with my last
breath that I have always loved you. I would rather be a ghost,
drifting by your side as a condemned soul, than enter heaven without
you. Because of your love, I will never be a lonely spirit.

Ok, Today was rather busy as days go.

– Possible Apartment Mate Buys 2 Gallons of Milk

– Splinter Cell has consumed my Life

– 291 Quiz Raped
me, and by raped I mean mildly fatigued me

– Everyone
Stop Yelling at Me! Look Inside Yourself, Live Life, Give Thanks and
Release

– Now Release Again

———————————————————-

Ok, Short Update. I’m Tired, and I don’t like writing after about oh
um, 1:00 AM.

I have an incredible urge to take Ink-Blot
tests because I remembered taking one and now I want to do it again.
It was a good time. Run On Sentence?

It’s funny how
these random memories just surface occasionally, and the best part is
that most of them are all fun and good.

– As previously
mentioned, The Ink-Blot Test

– Walking to Movies in
Arctic Temperatures with Shorts

– Playgrounds at
Midnight, Freezing

– Tag with my Siblings as a Kid

– Street Tennis – WATCH OUT FOR CARS!

– Berlee Drive
Hill, On a Bike, With no Brakes

– Getting the snot
slapped out of me by my Mother, but the Apology later. (I can take a
beating!)

– Mud Pit behind the Shed – Special Thanks to
Ross for Hose Control

– I Hosted a News Program? What
the Hell did I Smoke? Wait, I don’t really even smoke?

– Air Tents!

Okay, I have hundreds more, but I cant
recite them at one time.

————————————————————

In Other News:

– Johnny Cask Now and Forever

– Download “Hurt” by Johnny Cash

– It’s not country,
calm down!

– She was cute, carrying two apples

– DS as a Roommate? What are we thinking?

– I’m
thinking Dead Prostitute in the Shower

Eugene Kittridge:
I understand you’re very upset.
Ethan Hunt:
Kittridge, you’ve never seen me very upset.

I
like this quote because he never gets upset.

Oh Dear, Wonderful Readers,

I’m sorry
to see this happen, but I have to milk this page for all it can be
milked for?

1) Is anyone leaving after Friday March 7,
2003 at 2:30 PM Heading towards Fairfax, VA, from James Madison
University?

If you answered yes to the above question,
Proceed to Question 2. Otherwise, I hate you. Die.

2)
Can I Come With?

My lack of “relationships” and “cars”
has precluded me from arranging non bus oriented transportation out of
this place. Any help would be appreciated.

Also, Money
may be Involved (Winks and Holds up a Shiny Penny).

————————————————————–

Alright,  Splinter Cell is Consuming my Life.

If it Weren’t for the fact that I get decent grades without studying,
my grades would be suffering.

Cool:

–
Hostages

– Night Vision

– Thermal Vision

– The CIA

– Split Jump

Not Cool:

– My Video Card

—————————————————————-

In Other News:

– Jerry and Evan are bickering like
Children

– Food Makes my Mind Work Faster

– PJ is a Workaholic

– Ok, Jersey = Adult Entertainment

– Chucky Will Be There!

Sergeant Mac Eliot:
Long Tall Sally, she built sweet, she got everything, that Uncle John
need. Aw baby, I’m gonna have me some fun, I’m gonna have me some fun,
I’m gonna have me some fun.

A Ride Has Been Procured.

Today’s Tape
Recorded Notes:

– Take Covert Photo’s of:

�����������
– Ohio State Guy

�����������
– Truck On ice Mountain

�����������
– That Girl who Looks Claire Forlani

– Frame Photo of
Alec Guinness

– Find Complete Members List of Public
Enemy

—————————————————————

In general, I’ve realized that life is a lot easier if you don’t worry
about stuff.

However, That doesn’t mean you should
become a crack addict and/or crack whore.

—————————————————————

I’m heading away from my wonderful, fast, JMU Internet Connection in
less than 24 Hours, so Updates will be scarce until that connection is
reestablished.

In The Meantime, A Comical Story:

As� I have now accustomed myself to waking up at 4AM everyday, my
routine is becoming more refined.

1) Repel from my Top
Bunk to the Floor

2) Stumble Across Room making as much
noise as possible

3) Spill Soda on myself

4) Wander out into Halls, Making Strange Coughing and Winking Motions

5) Take Flash Photography of Sleeping People

6) Stare
at Others While They Sleep

7) Do Push-Ups

8) Attempt to remove screens from windows

9) Cut Finger
on Screen

10) Bleed on myself

11) Return
to Window with Gloves, Remove Screen, Put Head out Window

12) Stare Ominously at Passers by

13) Curl-Ups

14) Talk to Sleeping People with phrases like “So, I heard your
mothers a whore!” or “I figured now would be a good time for sexual
experimentation.”

15) Return to Bed

—————————————————————–

See You on the Flip Side!

“I find that if I just
sit down and think, the solution presents itself.”

Alrighty, I can Sum up Spring Break in just a few short phrases:

–
KUWAMBA!

– Stop Staring at me Swan!

– I think you greatly overestimate your ability to think clearly
while on fire

– Dancing in the Streets of� NYC

– Falling Asleep While Staring at my Lava Lamp

– Riechy Carries the Hanta Virus

– Bitching in a Car

– Evan’s Dog is so GAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

– 3.5 Pounds of Robin Eggs

– Joc (sp?)

– WAWA Refills for $1.29

– 1000 Miles logged, give or take

Basically, I’m too Lazy to write a real update.

To substitute, please partake of the pictures in the Gallery…

———————————————————–

“I don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw
it out. All I got is fuckin’ Floyd.”

– Dick Ritchie, True Romance
�

My Personal Hero – “Ku-Umba” Frank Lacy

Houston, Texas, born and ghetto raised, Frank is the
sixth child of a family of twelve children. His father, a teacher,
played guitar with Russell Jacquet, Eddie Cleanhead Vinson, Johnny
Fontenett and Arnett Cobb. His mother is a gospel vocalist. At the age
of 8, young Frank took up piano lessons and began to play the trumpet
soon after. While in junior high school, he began to play the
Euphonium and the Tuba. To play trombone he started at the age of 16.
After musical studies at the famed Berklee College of Music in Boston
and the Rutgers University in New York he toured with greats like
Dizzy Gillespie, Abdullah Ibrahim, Henry Threadgill, Julius Hemphill,
Oliver Lake, The Eurythmics, Carla Bley and Don Pullen. He was member
of the first Bobby Watson Horizon Band and at the apex of his career
as a sideman he spend a year and a half as musical director of Art
Blakey’s Jazz Messengers.
Besides the work with own groups, Frank still tours a lot with Lester
Bowie’s Brass Fantasy and the big bands of McCoy Tyner and David
Murray. A first CD under his name was published 1991 under the TUTU/ENJA
label: Tonal Weights and Blue Fire. A second one, Settegast Strut, has
been released on the same label.

——————————————————————-

In Other News:

– Jack Nicholson is the Devil

– George Bush, Master of Diplomacy…and by “Master” I
mean “Borderline Retarded Irish Setter”

– 5.5 Pounds of Sugary Goodness

– SCREAM! Roger Daltrey SCREAM!

“I’ll tip my hat to
the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
Don’t get fooled again
No, no!

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

NO!

YES!

Yeah, I Need the Beard…and 50 Ibs.

——————————————————————-

My Head Feels so hard. It’s like I’m grabbing a rock,
but the rock is slightly fuzzy.

Imagine what I can do Now…

– Monk

– Hitman

– Nazi

– Yul Brynner?

——————————————————————–

In Other News:

– I eat Soy Sauce like Cheese Paste

– I am “Comic Relief”

– I am “Prone to the absurd”

– I am Bald

– I am Growing a Beard

In Other Other News:

– Evan’s BDAY! Cake, Cake, Cake.

– More Easter Candy. I just can’t leave that Aisle in
Wal-Mart.

�

“His heed was ballid, and schon as eny glas. “

– C. 1386 Chaucer Prol. 198

There are about 10 People in my suite right now
watching live footage of Baghdad, Hoping Against hope that thousands
of Bombs will soon rain down like Brimstone. AWESOME!

In any case, I played 4 games of Chess at TDU today
with Jerry, and drank lots of coffee. Very fulfilling.

More Random Quotes:

– “This is my Sloth, his name is Greed.”

– “I think I know more about Dave Pope than you do.”

– (After Chucking a Bag of Donuts at Jerry) “Ouch, My
Breasts.”

– “How does it feel to be beaten by a bald man, biatch?”

– “Feel My Head….But Don’t feel it.”

– (After Destroying Jerry in the first 3 minutes of
Game 3) “The whole board is my playground!”

I finished Splinter Cell, and am saddened.

Mastered my 291 Test and

Received The “Love” Lecture

——————————————————————————-

COB 300 should Be Fun, I may have to do some work that
semester.

Sometimes I think I end up doing more work avoiding
work than I would just doing it. (Wow, Wild Sentence.)

“Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being
free to do anything.”

———————————————————————————————–

“Like a monkey ready to be shot into space. Space
monkey! Ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good.”