Bruce 2
I’m writing this update because I am pissed about my Puerto Rican Roommate.
Not because she’s Puerto Rican (She is likely from another bastard nation, but I
do not wish to speak to her about it) but because she is an ass. She mooches
cigarettes, fries shrimp in shallow pans then lets them fester for no good
reason, leaves tampon wrappers all over my bathroom, hocks loogies in the sink,
and will not stop talking (to me, or herself – it doesn’t matter!) about the
most god damn inane things you have ever heard. Not the funny inane things
either, the bizarre/boring/trite ones: Purses, Getting Ahead in the
Telemarketing World, Which Pants don’t make her butt look big. (Trick Question,
They ALL do- because she has a large buttocks. Probably from all the fried
shrimp.)
Anyway, I’m only pissed enough to write this because I was up till 4 am
listening to her phone babble on the other side of my wall, and being this tired
and cranky makes me fidgety.
She just asked about a daytrip to some place in Virginia (or Puerto Rico, I
can’t remember) and all I could think about was what state would be the best to
avoid being extradited back to Virginia (god dammed death penalty) if I were to
brutally murder her human form – and respectively, cleanse away her demonic
presence from the poor locality where she meets her end at the hand of a
man who had no farther to fall.
—–
Anyway, I just spent a good deal of time printing out a huge poster of Bruce
Campbell. It’s awesome.
That The Poster. By the Way, it gives me a good idea.