Cork on the Fork

Think about this…are AAMCO and MAACO related?

It’s been bothering me all day.

“For chrissakes, Maddux, could your pants
be any tighter? I can tell what religion you are in those things.”

(Nothing will rattle a quarterback in the
huddle better than the thought that entire sections of the stadium are, now,
gazing at his genitalia in an effort to surmise his religious affiliation.)

I was beginning to lose faith in the student population at James Madison
University..

– Demographic shifts have made the university eerily similar to Sweet Briar
Academy

– I saw three people with Von Dutch Hats in one day

– More than 14% of Students own a Mercedes or BMW

– Popular Topics on the Bus Ride this AM ranged from “Why isn’t there an
Abercrombie closer to Campus”” all the way to “Wal-Mart has great deals on
Turkey Sticks.”

….just when I had lost all hope . . .

One man, neh, two men drove by in a 1994 Ford Escort. Dented paint gleaming
in the bright sunlight, tires worn all the way through the tread, and the
rearview mirror attached through clever use of duct tape and string. A familiar
tune was emanating from the Tape Deck…

— Elton John – Rocket Man —-

—

My heart leapt with the familiar astronomical beats, and my faith was
restored in humanity.

—-

Funny Things that Happen at Work:

I, working ever so diligently at my Summer School Job, come across a request
to Transfer a student – let’s call him John Smith – from one course to another.

Currently Enrolled In: ESM 2345 – Elementary Science – Grade 5 – Little Run
Elementary

Wish to Enroll In: ESM 2345 – Elementary Science – Grade 5 – Little Run
Elementary

My Decision: Request Denied.

Approving Signatures: Elementary Principal, Lead Counselor.

> > > >  

Implausible Items to Find in Your Grocer’s
Freezer

Pets

Your Patrol Badge from 1995

Small Portions of Reeses Pieces� Candy

Most National Brands of Cheese

Footwear

NFL Team Merchandise*

Early Works by Monty Python

Later Works by Monty Python

The 160 Piece Craftsman� Mechanics Tool Set

Moist Towlettes

Individual Size Oreo Cookie Packages

—

* Exception is made for the line of Kordell Stewart 1998
Pittsburgh Steelers “Cold Steel” Popsicles

Unfortunate Pińata
Fillings (continued)

Prunes

Small Pieces of Butter

Shale

Keychains from the 1992 Presidential Campaigns

Hearing Aid Batteries

Voided Checks

Books of Matches (Used)

Caltrops

Spoons

Iron Filings

——————————–

Todays Highlight:

Lowered Pickup Fails to Clear Speedbump (Vertically)