You shouldn’t be able to achieve a centimeter deep papercut from a cardboard
box, It’s just compressed paper fiber, not a god damn x-acto knife. For only the
second time in my life I have actually bled onto a surface without
realizing it for at least 4 minutes and when I finally did? Hey, who needs
the actual tuition billing from JMU? I’ll just make a copy of the blood-stained
original and mail it in – those finance guys love documents coated in human
plasma.
—
I’m kidding, I’m kidding – Simply messing with you. Winter break was a
gigantic cheesecake coated with money – delicious, creamy, blueberry-flavored
money. It’s all going straight to South East Asia – no wait, they already have
6.7 Billion Dollars while the entire population of siberian Russia lives
in discarded segments of former oil pipeline.