Update 2
Once Again I have Updated the Site,
I am King of the Internet. Let there be a grand Dorm-Room Feast.
Bring me the finest meats and cheeses in all the land!
I am attempting to mirror this page on a different site to avoid
any lengthy periods of downtime.
Good news, Its been nearly one week since my “Life Experience” and
the urge to kill is slowly disappearing, like so much baby meat into a
fat-mans massive maw.� Perhaps I am not devoid of human emotion
entirely! In any case, I have worked myself into a wonderful groove of
work and play which affords me many, many, hours of sleep each day as
well as many more hours of what I call “nothing time”- ironically
named because my “nothing time” is actually the time during which I am
most productive. My recent increase in free time (Read: NO MORE
GIRLFRIEND) has reminded me of what it truly is to be alone -I don’t
mean that in a bad way- and exactly what kind of person I was before I
had a relationship. Here are a few things I didn’t realize I missed
about the Life of the Loner:
– Can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner anytime I want – no
preplanned meals�������������������������
– Bed feels much, much larger – more room to kick and “freak out”
when I dream about my days in the Vietnam POW camp
– Total lack of phone calls, conversation, e-mail, and Instant
Messaging allow me to continue my pursuit of absorbing all the sights
of my own room (My chair swivels 360 Degrees) including but not
limited to: White Concrete Walls, 8*10 Photo of Bruce Campbell in
Army of Darkness, Box of Frosted Cheerios on empty shelf,�
and the scary African-American man that takes the Cigarettes from my
roommates drawer when he comes in through the window at night
– More time to enjoy Daytime Television – Wait, that’s not a good
thing
– Can once again watch DVD’S where the main character is some kind
of explosion, or possibly a man who can shoot explosions from the huge
flamethrower rifle he carries throughout
– Don’t have to watch the language and can freely tell jokes that
would be considered “In bad taste” by the ladies. Q: What is worse
than a garbage bag full of dead babies? A: 10 Garbage Bags full of one
dead baby.
– No more “Clean Underwear.” I prefer them fully saturated thank
you!
Truly, I live a life that even Jesus himself would be envious of.�
Come back in a few days to see what else I have come up with….