Slurpee
It was recently brought to my attention that I live next to a 7-11. Well, maybe not “right next to”…since that place is a laundromat, but at least “in close proximity to.” 7-11 is known for one thing: The Slurpee. And Possibly a second thing: Moderately Priced Cigarettes, Alcohol, and Porno.
I only bring this up because I have noticed something startling recently….A TOTAL LACK OF SLURPEE DRINKING.
When I was a lad, every kid worth his own spit had a slurpee in his possession at least 3 hours a day, Small riouts could be started when a flavor selection ran dry, and Black Cherry was the King of the Icy Beverage Hill.
But Today….Well, I believe the Slurpee has been replaced by Drugs.
Consider This:
1993:
2003:
* Photos used with permission from the Drug Enforcement Agency, a Division of the Department of Justce.
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I will just insert some Yablonski ranting about children to prove my point.
“My cable went out that one night a few weeks ago, and I couldn’t watch ‘Silk Stockings’, so I had nothing better to do but throw down some Scotch. One of those idiot kids from next door starts banging on my door and I answer it and think he’s a burglar so I push him off my porch into the shrubs. He runs away and then his dad comes over, all pissed off and s&*t. I don’t really care so I tells him he can go back to his house and hump that pile of meatloaf he calls his wife. This pisses the a$%hole off even more, so I push him off the porch into the shrubs. He landed right where his braindead kid did to, it was fuc*(&g hilarious. What a family of retards.”
* Used without permission from Somethingawful.com
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Recently:
– The Meatpuppets
– Chafeur (Designated)
– Half Price Halloween Candy
– DC Anti War Protest (I was there, but wouldnt say I was an activ e participant – I mean, I’m not the kind of guy that bangs on drums in a drug induced haze while slurring anti bush lyrics. But I could be.)
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Movie Time
Marty Cantor: Jack, do you have any idea what a big deal it is to retask those satellites?
Jack Ryan: Yeah.